Clues from the Past

Last weekend, I picked up the last box of books from my ex's house. It had The Secret Garden, James and the Giant Peach, and Little Women - the actual worn, hard back versions from my childhood. The painful treasure in that box came in the form of three old notebooks - journals from my past.

The faded blue notebook with the light green pages started on Dec. 23, 1982, when I was home for Christmas from NYC. I'd moved there that fall, at 18, to become an actress. The black composition notebook started on July 12, 1991 in Manteo, NC where I was spending my summer acting in an outdoor drama called The Lost Colony and continued through my junior year in college. The last notebook was a stiff back legal pad. Its first entry was on January 28, 1996, about three months into my marriage to a Belgian organic farmer. Two days ago, I read them all, one after another, cover to cover. They took place in radically different settings and times, but there were glaring thru-lines. 

I was struck by my lack of confidence and my need to look to the man in my life for affirmation. I was shocked at how much later I used to sleep and how well I remembered every detail of my dreams! But the big revelation came from seeing how often I mentioned not feeling great. I had stomach aches, headaches, lack of energy (even when I slept for 9 hours,) sore throats, flus and more. When I was farming, at 34, I talked about how old I felt! I had started eating lots of vegetables by then, and I had switched to only eating organic. I'd lost twenty pounds. But still, I just wasn't feeling right. 

Today, at 57, I can honestly say that I almost always feel great. I had forgotten how very much this was was not the case, for most of my life. It has been a long journey, getting to the point where I have learned the best way to eat (and live) for me. 

One of the main ways I have healed is as a result of doing elimination diets. I learned recently that even when you get allergy tests from a Doctor, they recommend that you also do an elimination diet at the same time to find confirmation of what may be causing reactions. It is such an important step to figuring out what makes our individual body work well. 

The spring Release and Reveal Cleanse starts on Monday, March 15. 

It is possible to feel great.
I wish I had figured it all out much sooner.
If you're still struggling, I hope you can find some answers too. 

Love, 
Madeline